Saturday, September 7, 2013

Life of "Leisure"

It seems like these last several months have FLOWN by. I have had a LOT going on.....I just haven't wanted to blog about it. The biggest news: I resigned from being a Preschool Director. I LOVED that job and it was unbelievably hard to go, but it was something that I had to do. The church I worked for decided to make some changes and I decided that I wasn't going to be a part of those changes. Trust me, I have LOTS to say about everything that happened, but I'm not. After weeks of crying, processing, and praying, I am going to use my blog to focus on more positive things. My heart does break when I think about not being at that little school and I grieve the loss of those day-to-day relationships. We were a family in the truest sense and I have a physical ache now that it has changed so significantly.

So, what am I doing now??

Praying! Healing! Resting! Thinking!

Gardening! Napping! Cleaning!

It has been an interesting adjustment being at home. For the first week, I could barely get out of bed. I was so upset and hurting so bad that the only time I would get up, was when one of the staff came to the house (which was a lot! No one could believe what was happening!) The second week, I started trying to tackle some projects around the house. My depression was in overdrive so it was hard for me to do anything at all. I struggled with a lot of guilt during those first few weeks. I just felt like I was supposed to be "doing something". I wasn't on "vacation", so I needed to be working on getting a job.

By the third week, I was feeling stronger. I would still cry easily, but I could actually think about something other than the preschool. The calls and visits from staff slowed way down and I spent more time working around the house.

I've now been out of work for 5 full weeks. It hasn't been easy, but it has been worthwhile. I believe that God gave me this time as a blessing - a gift. He is using this time to draw me closer to Him. ALL of the daily devotions I've been reading have been about Healing, Time, Rest, Patience, and Gaining strength in Him. I'm DEFINITELY not perfect and I still struggle with fully releasing everything. I KNOW that He wants me to live - and work - in peace, and He knows I haven't been for quite a while. Sure, I wonder sometimes if He is looking at our earthly calendar and the fact that I have to pay the monthly mortgage and we like to eat!! Even so, I know He has a plan for me. He is preparing me for the next phase in His plan and I am humbled. I am purposely trying to listen and rest during this time so I can be READY when He calls!

So, for now I will:

Praise God in the hallway

until the next door opens!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Warning: Whining Post

Well, this isn't the post I had intended to write. I have just finished a simple craft/home decor project and I should be posting about that, but I'm not. Instead, I need to whine about my fibro a little bit.

The last 2 days have been a little rough. I am hurting some, but mostly it's the depression, mental issues, and exhaustion. I spent some time yesterday doing something I love to do -- thrifting -- and I had a hard time all day! I even left Hobby Lobby after only a few minutes and I didn't buy anything! For people who really know me, that's almost a diagnosis for hospitalization! HL is my FAV store and I can always get lost in there and spend way too much time and money! Yesterday was definitely not the norm.

I "lost" my drink for 2 days....it was on top of the deep freeze! I have no memory of putting a stereo on the floor, although I'm the only one who could have done it.

The pain in my left leg has woken me up for the last two nights. I have gotten up, taken medicine, put on my heating pad, and played on Pintrest on my phone until I could go back to sleep. Today, I fell asleep sitting in my recliner...I slept for 2 hours and could barely wake up even then.

Why am I feeling like this right now?? The weather is warm....not cold. We've had storms for several nights - could that be a trigger? My diet hasn't changed. (In fact, I've now put all of my weight back on! I have failed at Weight Watchers!) I'm still on vacation, so I can't blame this on work-related stress. I thought I'd been feeling pretty calm. Grrr!

I have to tell ya -- I HATE fibromyalgia!! I know I'm supposed to be learning through this process, but my brain is tired right now! I don't feel like learning anything else!

OK - enough whining. On to two things that bring me joy!

               Edited to add: Technical difficulties and the pictures won't load! Sheesh! I'll try again tomorrow!
 
 
 
 

Friday, June 14, 2013

I'm Back.....AGAIN


Hello...... HELLO.......

                                              HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone still out there?? Probably not, but that's OK. Hopefully I'll be able to build up again.

I've been MIA for quite some time now. There's just been too much going on. I've thought about writing lots of times, but haven't had the time (or taken the time) to do it. Sorry. I'm anxious to get back to blogging, so here goes.

This is part of what I've been up to.

* Reading lots of blogs. I love reading what other people are doing. I love learning about their home decor, craft projects, organization projects, and just life. I don't know how these other ladies remain so committed to their writing. I also don't know how to do all the fancy stuff they have on their sites. Alas, mine will remain boring!

* Working like a crazy person. I have to be honest -- this has been an incredibly rough semester for me. There have been many days that I have wanted to just toss in all of my cards and take off running for a deserted field of wildflowers. (Insert a picture of a field of Queen's Anne's Lace, sunflowers, little purple flowers, and wild grasses! Ahhh!)

I hope I don't bust any one's bubble, but let me tell you ---- Working in a faith-based program is NOT filled with praise and worship all the time! I haven't had trouble with the children or the teaching staff. It's all been with....... Well, I'll leave that up to you. I've already said too much.

Every time I think I've reached my limit, one of my Little's will say or do something that melts my heart or one of my Big's will be going through some sort of 20-something crisis and I know I have to stay. God was very clear about bringing me to this place and I haven't gotten the message that it's time for me to leave. Obviously, I'm still supposed to be learning something and/or I still have something to do. I'll keep going and hope I'm in His plan.

* Learning to live with my fibromyalgia. Here's a news flash: Fibro is REAL! I know I need to go back to the doctor and tell him about what's still happening, but I honestly don't think anything would change. Don't get me wrong. I love my doc and he really listened to me when I was telling him how I felt. I just don't trust that anything would really get better. There's honestly not a day that I don't hurt somewhere. It's not always excruciating, but it's always there. The fatigue and depression vary from day to day. I get tired of talking about it all the time.

* We've been doing several projects around the house -- when we have time and when I feel like it. I plan to put these projects on my blog, so stay tuned.

* We've put in several new flowerbeds and everything is growing nicely. I'm super happy. I've even tried growing veggies for the first time. The lettuce looks beautiful but tastes horrible!! It's terribly bitter!! Oh well. Guess I'll try again next year. In the meantime, take a look at my tiny bell peppers and tomatoes!


This is my newest rose bush. It's called Neptune and is the sweetest light purple color! I just put it in at the end of April. I'm impressed with how well it's doing.


* DH's middle son and wife just delivered their twins. 2 precious little boys have now joined the family. We got to meet them when they turned 1 month old. So adorable! 


* I bought a new camera! I've been eyeing the Canon Rebel T3 for quite a while. I've held both the Nikon and the Canon and the Canon just felt best. I got an amazing deal where I got a camera bag, a tripod, an SD card, the basic lens, and the camera for about $450. SOLD!

Well, here's my promise that I'm going to be more faithful in posting.....hopefully you'll be faithful in reading!

Thanks for catching up with me!!
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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

The Blizzard

Is it any wonder that the kids in my preschool are sick all the time???

It was 70 degrees on Sunday and then on Monday.....

When we left the house at 7:00 in the morning, the ground was covered.


When we got back home at 1:00 in the afternoon, THIS is what it looked like!! Welcome to the Matterhorn! We got stuck trying to get back in the driveway. Dave had to shovel ice and snow just so we could pull in!


Today, it was back in the 50's and almost all of the snow is melted. Well, it was fun while it lasted!

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Update

Well, this update sure has been a long come coming. Sorry! I just don't know where the past 2 months have gone. This (probably long post) is my attempt to catch up. Just try to hold on.

Work -- As usual, work has been super busy and pretty stressful. A new change is finally official, so I can start talking about it publicly...... Starting this fall, we are going to start accepting younger children. Since the beginning of time, we've started at 2 1/2 and fully potty trained. Our clientele has changed over the past several years and we have been getting more requests for younger children and fewer requests for the older kiddos. Unfortunately, our bottom line was been severely hit as a result of this change and it was very clear that we had to either change our model of care or close our doors. Soooooo after much prayer, research, and discussion, we decided to start at 24 months with diapers. I know that doesn't sound like a big deal, but trust me - it is! I am excited, but a little anxious, too. There are lots of things to do before we can do this and I don't have a lot of time to spare.

A second project I'm working on is our 20th anniversary celebration. Our little Preschool turned 20 this year and that deserves a big party! We are planning a party for Sept 8th. Since we're part of the church, you can imagine all of the committees and "interested parties" that have to consulted and/or included. It's not putting together a regular party. Again....fun but stressful.

I have a new board chairperson. I really like her. I have to admit, I'm having to get used to her style. It is completely the opposite of the person who's filled this role for the past 3 years. This person is appointed by the church, so I just have to work with whoever is appointed. Like I said, I really do like my new chairperson. She's definitely gung-ho and wants to learn everything there is to learn about the Preschool. Once more.....fun but stressful.

Home -- DH and I have taken our time working on some projects. We're still tackling the scrapbook room, just slowly and surely. I've gotten all of the cabinets organized like I want and I've finally decided on the wall color. I wanted purple, but it had to be the right purple. Don't laugh....it's much harder than you'd think!! Anyway, decision is made. I'm not sure when we'll get it painted. Maybe during Spring Break?

We hosted family for the Super Bowl. We really didn't care who won. The Steelers weren't playing and former Tech players were on both teams. We were good either way.

I decorated and un-decorated from Valentine's Day.

All of the Christmas and winter decorations are put away for another year.

DH bought a gorgeous new truck. It's amazing! We just went on a whim and came home with this shiny new red truck! I'm excited because it has dual temperature control, so I can be as warm/cool as I need to be without disturbing him. (I imagine he's more excited about that than I am!)


We bought and hung new curtains in our bedroom and the family room. I really like these curtains. They are a little hard to see in this picture. They are burlap with an upholstery binding on the bottom. They are earthy and subtle and provide a sense of homeyness to the room.


I'll show you our bedroom curtains next week after our NEW BED arrives! Yup - you heard that correctly! We did a major splurge and purchased the almost-top-of-the-line Sleep Number bed. We bought the automated bed frame that will raise your head, feet, and even provide a massage! I can't tell you how excited I am about that!! Sometimes the only way I can sleep is when I use our vibrating heating pad. (More on this in a minute)

2 of my family members are battling cancer. They have both had good reports from the doctor and I am praising God for that!

Health -- I am still struggling a lot with my fibromyalgia. I am in constant pain, usually level 4-8. Unfortunately, in the past 2 weeks there have been more times at level 8 than 4. It's very difficult to explain how it feels and the crazy, overwhelming fatigue that hits me. I don't understand how it can be so hard to hold my head upright. How can that be?? There have still been moments of depression. I honestly fight it as much as I can, but it is never too far away. Last week, I even missed some work because I felt so bad. There's also a ton of guilt involved. My brain knows how silly that is, but I still struggle with it. My Lead Teachers and Board Members all know and have been amazingly supportive. That means the world to me. I honestly don't know how long I can keep doing this same job. I love my job very much, but it requires a lot of physical activity plus it's very stressful. Of course, it scares me to think of getting a different job. My plan is to stay here as long as possible.

Well, I think this is the end of my update. I promise to post more regularly from now on. Thanks for still being out there!

Monday, January 7, 2013

New Year's Resolutions

Do you set New Year's Resolutions? I have always been a big NYR'r. I've spent hours thinking about where I am in life and where I want to be. I write out detailed goals, including all the SMART elements. You know..... Specific, Measurable, Attainable, and Realistic. I even put pictures with each goal. Only problem, in retrospect, is that many of them weren't very SMART - especially in the "Realistic" category - and I typically didn't last through the year.

This year is different. NO NYR's. My #1 plan for this year is to be better to myself, and that includes not stressing myself out with a list of formal resolutions. Instead, there are 2 main things that I want in this year.

1) Take care of myself
2) Be more purposeful

So, what does that look like?

Take care of myself....
- Continue with Weight Watchers. I don't know what my final weight will be. That's not as important to me as being healthy and happy. I know I need to lose some weight and I will.

- Add more movement to my days. Maybe that will be on the track at work. Maybe it will be chasing our little preschoolers around the playground. Maybe it will bike riding with my hubby. Who knows??

- Sleep! I have to "get over" feeling guilty for sleeping. My health depends on getting plenty of real sleep. If the laundry doesn't get done tonight, it will be OK.

- Cut back on stress. My nature is to be a high-stress, Type A person. I had honestly gotten quite a bit better and really didn't let too many things get to me. For some reason, I've really struggled with this for the past 6 months or so. I am going to make a concerted effort to work on this.

- Spend more time doing things I enjoy: Enjoying life with my Hubbs, Gardening, Scrapbooking, Decorating, Tablescaping

- Buying a rolling cart so I don't have to carry my super heavy work bag every day.

Be more purposeful...
- Go back to tracking everything through WW. Now that I have an iphone, I can even track on my phone.

- Not spending mindless hours on the computer. Caveat -- reading blogs and spending time on pintrest is therapeutic for me, so I won't be giving it up entirely. I just want to cut back and do other things with my time, as well.

- Leave work at work -- as much as possible. Remember the "Realistic" problem from the past?? Well, I know myself and my responsibilities well enough to know that I can't completely eliminate working from home. It just comes with the territory. Still, I have the power to control it. I'm going to! I am not - and will not - be defined solely by my occupation.

- In my prayer-life and church-life

- With my family time and in my interactions with others

Those plans may be too "mushy" for the business-type folks out there, but for where I am right now, I think they suit me just fine! These are things that I KNOW I can do and I know they will make me a happier, healthier person and that's the only goal I need!

Here's to an awesome 2013!!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone!! Today is January 1, 2013. I pray that you all had a loving and fulfilling Christmas season. Ours was good, although it won't go down in the record books as one of my favorites. Dave and I had a terrible time making it to Kentucky and while we were there, he had a terrible head cold and I got the stomach flu. Not fun!!! Still, it was wonderful to spend time with family.

Bear with me as I share the Christmas explosion that took over my house. The pictures aren't great, but you'll get a good idea of how everything looked. I love decorating. This year was a little more challenging for me, but it was still fun.

Ready? Here we go!

This is our "Main Tree" -- the fancy one. It sits right in front of the window that overlooks our front patio. It's all purple, silver, and clear. I love it.

Our dining room table - partially set. (Oh well....) I went very simple this year. Just a plain burlap runner with greenery and beads.

My peace candles dressed up with their purple and silver.

We recently purchased a coat rack of sorts. Those are openings for pictures. I simply put scrapbook paper, ribbons, and letters inside.

This is our "Family Tree". Dave and I collect ornaments from everywhere we go and they all find their home right here. It is in my scrapbook room. I love just looking at all of the different ornaments and remembering all of our special times.

The hall bath is filled with snowmen! My brother-in-love finds them a little creepy -- all of those eyes looking at you!! I find them charming and cute! (Even if all those eyes do seem to follow your every move!)
 
 
 

 
 Next up -- the Steelers Tree!! When all of the Christmas decorations went on their big sales last year, I bought the hubs a black tree and a black/gold skirt. Now, he has his very own tree in his office. He had fun putting it all together.

Our Dept. 56 Snow Village is in the family room. We have a few open spaces, but then we'll need to find a new place to display our pieces. I just love this collection.
 


The stockings were hung.... Mine on the left and Dave's on the right.
 

The Angel Tree is in the Guest Room. It's still small, but I know this collection will grow like all of the others!  


And now, for part of the Santas. (Yes, I meant only part. I wasn't able to take pictures of all of them!)

 
This little tree is in the kitchen. It's the Gingerbread Tree. Yummy, huh??


And of course, the Hot Chocolate bar!
 
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